Unmet Expectations

I read an article that one of my friends on Facebook shared last night. It said one of the biggest marriage killers was not lack of love, lack of sex, or anything related to that. It was simply unmet expectations. We go into many things in life like this, don’t we? You expect so many things and then they do not go even close to your way and you are left disappointed, or feeling like a failure or like somebody or something failed you. When in reality, nothing ever goes exactly as planned. Of course in my perfect world I would have the perfect marriage with perfectly behaved kids, and a perfectly clean house..right!? YEAH RIGHT! I know this is impossible, but I still get frustrated daily that I can’t keep up on my “chores” and I can’t get my kids to behave or eat one of the 15 options I gave them for dinner. And why didn’t my husband bring me home 10 pounds of chocolate, takeout, and 2 dozen roses!? HAHA! I’m kidding!! I would have a ton of unmet expectations daily if thats the crap I expected!

ūü§£ That brings me back to the original topic..unmet expectations in marriage. I try very hard not to focus on the unrealistic expectations I set in my head for my marriage..instead I wake up thankful I have this man I fell in love with so many years ago at such a young age..thankful we grew together and not apart in all of the trying times of growing into the adults we are today (god knows 20-30 are not the easiest years!) Do we vacation 3 times a year and have date night once a week..no. Do we get to eat dinner together every day and spend quality family time together daily no. But I go to bed next to someone I truly love and am thankful for any time I get with him. I have a beautiful home and 2 amazing, beautiful, super healthy children…and an amazing family/support system.

It is not an easy thing to let go of expectations. But why put that burden on that other person, to throw all of these you expect of them on their shoulders.. “you need to do X and Y in order to make me happy”. Is it our job to make another person happy? That is a tricky question. I believe if you truly love someone they make you happy just by being themselves..the person you fell in love with before life threw all of these responsibilities at us. Can you imagine at 20 years old caring if your significant other put the garbage out that night or washed their dishes or folded their laundry? NO! You just wanted to be with that person! Enjoy their company. You fell in love with their personality, their brains, their appearance, or whatever it was..you didn’t fall in love with their capability to do chores and pay bills and keep a house clean. While all of those things are important, they are not worth fighting about!!

So basically what I’m getting at..is basically to stop and smell the roses. Don’t dwell on the things you could not accomplish today or the fact that your husband left his dirty clothes on the floor or brought you home the wrong kind of milk. It is going to be okay! We cannot be perfect. Just know you are doing the best you can and if you feel you can do better..do it. I know I have so many things I need to work on as a mother, a wife, a friend. Tomorrow is another day. Have a wonderful rest of the week and remember to let go of your expectations of yourself and of the people around you and they may surprise you! Focusing on the positive things people give you rather than the things they are not doing for you can be freeing. Ciao xoxo <3

Family Time

Ahhh…the weekend. It came and went so fast. I love when Friday rolls around because I know the next 2 mornings I get to wake up next to my husband (just kidding..I wake up in Evalynn’s bed most of the time because she comes downstairs and steals my bed and husband from me). I wouldn’t totally mind this because I love sleeping alone, but her room is upstairs and mine is on the first floor..so her room is HOT at night. Hmm..no wonder she comes down to my bed, it all makes sense now! Zola is 3 and has never tried to sleep in our bed yet. I am waiting for the day she realizes she can sneak down there in the middle of the night. Last night she sat at the top of the¬†stairs at 5 am saying “I want an egg!!!!” I was like yeah,..no kid. And scratched her back for 30 seconds and she passed back out til 9:30 am.

But yeah, the weekend. Love it. I love making breakfast for everyone and trying so hard to all sit down at the same time and enjoy a meal together. That doesn’t happen often. Friday night Z ended up golfing so I ran to my parents house with the girls for a few hours. I love going there. They live on a huge lot and it is just soo peaceful out there..you feel like you are up north..but really I am only 15 minutes from home! My girls love it there. Evalynn loves “exploring” with her Papa. Mostly exploring bugs and trying to catch butterflies and grasshoppers and trap them in a jar…the poor dears. Their garden¬†is really starting to bloom, so I got to take some yummy produce home. Seriously, if you saw this garden you wouldn’t believe your eyes. They grow so many things. My parents are bosses when it comes to gardening. That summer she was just giving me bags of things like please find somebody who wants this stuff because there is too much! Hahaha. I took a ton of basil to make pesto sauce for the next night. My mother-in-law spent Saturday night-Sunday with us so I wanted to make a yummy homemade meal for us. My mother-in-law is awesome..she is my ride or die chick. She totally goes with the flow and has fun every second of the way. Whatever we want to do, she is like “ok, yeah, lets do it!” We mostly relaxed and watched the girls play, ate a delicious meal with some wine. The next morning I made us breakfast and we took the girls to the mall to play in the ittle play area and run through the fountains. They love going there. We got lunch at Brio afterwards..their food is SO good. They make this steak salad that has a homemade horseradish sauce and a yummy balsamic glaze on top of that. It has pecans, gorgonzola, mushrooms…..it’s just yum. I love going there because they give you unlimited bread and butter (my daughters’ favorite food). Evalynn gets all sassy if her butter runs out too…she is like “where is my refillll!!!!”

Moral of this post is…weekends are awesome, and I would rather spend them with family than anyone. I hate¬†going too long without seeing my parents..and Eva and Zola are super close to them too so I hate to keep them away, Same with my in-laws. They love their Baba and Teta. And the feeling is mutual. My mother-in-law and sister-in-law enjoy every second with them and are so good to them. I think it’s important for them to feel that love and closeness with others..not just me and Z. I melt watching them bond with their grandparents and Aunts and Uncles. I want them to know how important family is and how they always come first before anything. I want them to look back at their childhood and have fond memories of being with their family often.

What is everyone’s favorite part of the weekend? Sleeping in, eating with family, being with friends, being lazy, etc..I would love to hear!! Have a great week everyone..Monday has been conquered..wahhoo!!!



A minnie birthday

Birthday parties for our kids…we try to make them such a memorable event for our kids (funny thing is they probably won’t remember any of them at their ages now…3 and 5). We spend the whole month prior trying to plan what we are going to feed people, what kind of theme the party is going to have, what things we will have to do for people that come over. It all gets a bit stressful for the me. And then on my loved ones come over and I realize how worth it it all is! My friends and family are so amazing too, I do so much work before the party that once the party starts I get kind of lazy. And they totally pick up the slack for me. Help with the kids, the dishes, cutting the cake and serving ice cream because Zola wouldn’t detach from me. My people are amazing. Zola decided she wanted a Minnie Mouse birthday, so that is what we did. I got some upcycled wine bottles and spray painted them black and made them look like Minnie Mouse bottles. And I painted a few pink to make a centerpiece for our kitchen table too. I kept it simple when it came to decorations, I felt like that was enough other than a couple of small things. Zola was so cute..she got tired of all the commotion and went upstairs and passed out in the lazy boy upstairs! We were all laughing..she loves her alone time, always has. She always asks to go to one of our rocking chairs to watch her ipad and relax…alone. She was woken up at the party shortly after by screaming kids of course…just in time for cake and presents. We got a bounce house this year, and it started storming the afternoon of the party and I freaked out that we weren’t going to get to use it! Thank goodness mother nature got her sh*t together and the storm passed and everyone helped get the water out of the Bounce House. The kids had a blast in it all day!!! And us old folks(lol) had a blast too! Lots of yummy treats and adult drinks..it’s not all about the kids yo!!! We need to have fun too! Zola is lucky she has the summer birthday. Evalynn’s birthdays are in the Winter are pretty low-key at our house! We just sit around and eat and hang out…by the warm fireplace! Ugh..I don’t even want to think about Winter yet..Summer us too yummy. Late nights, cold drinks, salads, late night trips to the park and to get ice cream. It’s going to be so hard getting my kids back in school schedule!! This will be our first year of school Monday-Friday and I am nervous! Time to get my butt in gear…I knew this day would have to come eventually. I don’t want to even go there yet…save that for another anxiety filled post!

A Friday ramble

TGIF! Happy Friday everyone, I hope you all had a great week. I look forward to the weekend because I actually get to see my husband. We get no quality time¬†during the week. And if I am lucky, my girls let me speak 5 words to him over the entire course of weekend. High maintenance little buggers. You can’t blame a 3 and 5 year old..they think “what can you do for me next.” I took my turn being a little selfish today and *gasp* actually blowdrying my hair. I worked out too! I spent most of my week cooking,¬†potty training, and taking them here and there to keep them busy in my spare time. Because I, too, always think of what I can do for them next! Not to mention I am Evalynn’s only source of education since preschool ended. The dollar store had some great books to keep her going. She doesn’t mind stopping to practice her letters or whatever else I ask her. My girls are pretty good about going with the flow and I do appreciate them for that. They had no problem watching the movie Trolls on Netflix (can you believe this is already on Neflix btw!?) while I exercised and got myself ready. I have felt in a funk since Evalynn got out of school, trying to find my rhythm with the new schedule, trying to figure out when and how to run errands with 2 silly girls with me. It has been an adjustment, but we are figuring it out! But I do admit knowing they can keep busy while I do “my” stuff every day really makes me proud of them. I have a cutie next to me right now hugging me while eating her minion mac n cheese. “Let me watch you work” she says…I just love this little girl!

Zola has been through a lot this week with me with the whole potty training ordeal. We went without pull-ups for the most part for 3 days, but after her peeing on my carpeted stairs, my bonus room, and all over a chair, I had had enough of cleaning up pee! I am still on her butt about peeing constantly but the stress of not knowing when and where she was going to pee next was turning me into a mad person (more than I already am). I read this article about a couple ways to potty train. One was setting a timer every 15 minutes for 3 days and sitting your child on the potty. Zola was annoyed by me trying this. She was like “really Mom? Just peed..bugg off.”

Another article shocked me.. it said to go BOTTOMLESS for 3 months while at home (the kid :-D). This was just…no. My daughter would leave secret pee puddles all over my house if I did this. I do not have time to stare at my kid 24/7 to make sure she doesn’t dribble all over the darn place. I want to talk to people who have tried this and I want them to tell me that this was not a huge disaster. There has to be another way! I know there is another way because I didn’t do that for my oldest daughter.

Anywho I hope you all have a wonderful weekend! I know I will..sunshine, family, friends, good food and alcohol..gosh I love Summer!!!

I got this tank on clearance at Target btw…they never disappoint. Super comfy, soft, and long tanks…score.

A pause for potty training

Happy Monday all! It’s kind of a depressing one because last Monday I was drinking a Not Your Mother’s Apple Pie beer (or 4) in the sunshine with loved ones..and this Monday…is so different. Day 1 of potty training my soon to be 3 year old. I have this deadline in my head where she needs to be potty trained by June 22. My oldest was potty trained a few months before she turned 3..so I am already behind. I have had her in pull-ups for a long time now and just needed to suck it up and put the big girl panties on (her AND me!) and just DO IT.
Why have I been putting this off you ask? Why would I wait until a few weeks before her birthday to finally get her out of diapers? Well if you are a mom who has potty trained your child you know the exact answer to this question. You have to put life on hold and stare at them all day to make sure they don’t pee all over your house. And ask them every 15 minutes if they have to pee. And make sticker charts and promise them money, candy, new toys, a new car right when they turn 16. Whatever it takes you will give it to them!
So today, life has been put on hold. I focus just on my little ones bladder control. I’m hoping for the best so we don’t have to spend too many days like this. The house is going to turn into chaos it just takes too long! I have to let my OCD go (and let the house go) because the payoff to her being potty trained will be so great. She is only been awake about four hours and she has already peed 5 times (one time was on my carpeted stairs but the other times we made it to the potty yay!). They pee so often at this age!
It’s so funny how invested you become and potty training. When they fail at it, you feel like you failed. The disappointment I felt when she peed herself today was kind of hilarious. I wanted to cry. I asked her one minute prior if she had to pee and she said no. And then she peed herself. I was mad at myself for not running her to the potty anyways!
I realize I have not blogged in a couple weeks and then when I finally do I am sitting here ranting about potty training. But this is my life. And when you have kids these are the things you invest your time in. I have not had time to blog or craft lately, life just got in the way. It hit me last night when my oldest asked me if I was ever going to craft again. It kind of made me sad because I realized I have not put in much time towards my hobbies, even exercising the past couple weeks. But I will get back on track! I ate a healthy breakfast and got a little exercise in this morning. I have lots of healthy food in my fridge. When I take care of myself physically I feel amazing mentally so I know I need to get that back on track. As for crafting, I plan on putting my stuff in a flea market a couple times this summer. Even though I have to get there super early in the morning it will be nice to get out and now I’m doing something for myself. And if I sell some of my vases, that is a bonus! If I don’t, I will still be happy I went. It will be a fun atmosphere for me.
This is life, especially as a mom. Sometimes you focus a lot on yourself, sometimes most of your focus is on your kids, your chores, your family. And then all the sudden a gap opened up where you realize you do have that time to spend on just yourself. I miss blogging about fitness and fashion and all of that, and I know I will get back to that very soon, when I feel glamorous again. But for now, kids are my priority. I can’t wait to kiss those diapers goodbye!
Okay, time for me to go ask my kid if she has to pee again ūüėÄ wish me luck, and I wish you all the best of luck on your week and staying positive and enjoying the beautiful weather.

Save the dram-a for your blog-a (said in Italian accent)

You know how you have some days where you just feel like you are slaying everything, you are just going to kill it no matter what you do? Well yeah, today was the complete opposite of that. My almost 3yo daughter decided instead of sitting and watching Mickey Mouse quietly like an angel sent from heaven to me.. while I was in the basement, that she would creep into my craft room and become a famous painter. I am talking acrylic paint all over the door, my vases, and all over my brand new carpet. Oh yeah, it was all over her too! So since it is water based paint, it came off her no problem! The carpet was a whole another ordeal. I tried everything under the sun to get the stuff out and I only got it about 75% out. I just feel like a major #momfail today! Definitely need to start baby proofing the house again now that she is at that age that she wants to get into everything! I could have sworn she was quietly watching Mickey the whole time too haha! Luckily it happened in the craft room, which is a spare bedroom that nobody sees. I guess it could have been worse, she could have gotten it in her eyes or eaten it right?! My husband is all “don’t stress, lesson learned” and…umm NO… I am over here for hours scrubbing my carpet with everything under the freaking sun. The guy had to come home and peel my away from scrubbing the same areas over and over. I had so much water and solution in this carpet that my Mom had to come suck it out with her carpet cleaning machine! ( I know there is a real word for said machine, but my brain is fried today! Inhaled too many cleaning agents.)

Anyway, when something like this happens I just have to blame myself. It is our job to keep things away from my kids so they don’t end up hurting themselves or making a mess that we are going to spend 12 hours cleaning, and I right! I just had a meltdown today after the past few months not being used to all of these unexpected things happening! One of the girls cuts the other ones hair, spit all over the TV and smeared around with their hands thinking it’s funny, spitting on the couch, writing on each other’s face with pen…hat’s when I just have to pick the kids up in the car and drop them off at one of the grandparents house so I can have a couple hours to breathe!

Staying at home, and being a homebody has its perks but its downfalls as well! The longer I am home the more chances we have of making huge messes around here! And it is easy to obsess over trying to keep it clean. Don’t get me wrong I loooove being home!! I just am not a fan of chasing my kids around with wet rags, a vacuum, and a broom. And hearing myself nag at them all day “why do you have to spill everything, please wash your hands, why are you doing that, stop taking toys from your sister, stop dumping all of your toys in a pile just to grab one and walk away from the mess” (the list goes on and on until I cannot stand the sound of my own and seriously ponder how my husband can stand the sight of me) (please hubby, still love me..the girls just make me crazy please hang around long enough for them to grow a bit so you can see I can still be a normal, sane, happy, and fun human being). Thank goodness warm weather is here and we can start getting out more! They can go be reckless in a public place that I don’t have to clean afterwards! ūüėÄ and being in public reminds me that other people’s kids are little animals as well. Maybe the only advice I need at the end of this is to just learn to BREATHE. Oh and drink more wine. Cheers!

What our kids teach us

Every day I think of how I can teach my kids new things, and make them the best people they can be..spark their creativity. But truthfully, everything I’m trying to do for them they so effortlessly do for me. Isn’t it true? I know kids don’t seem to have a worry in the world, but we should learn from them the ability to appreciate the small things. (Even though we clearly have more to worry about than they do.)

When we got home from school pick up yesterday, my daughter came home with a homemade kite. She was so excited to go home and fly this thing. So what did I do when we got home? I made one for her little sister too (of course) and we just ate lunch outside and flew kites for a bit. All it took was cutting the front of a coloring book into a diamond, poking the hole on the bottom and stringing some yarn through it. They were so happy, and I just sat there watching my little girls run around thinking how blessed I am. I try to appreciate these little things too. Why as adults is it so much harder to make us happy? We only appreciate grand gestures. I feel like the little things still make me smile. A kiss on the cheek from my husband, a hug from my child. A sweet text from my parents. Those kind of things make my entire day! All I have to do to make my kids day is say something like “hey let’s make homemade play- doh!” And they go “yayyyy..yeah!!! play-doh!!” And the next 2 hours is consisted of fun playing in the kitchen and eating snacks and just enjoying each other’s company. They have made it clear they love play-doh in the past so I know this makes them happy.

This is something we also don’t seem to do as adults…. fulfill those little things that make us happy. Do things for YOURSELF that make you happy! For me it is taking that extra hour to do my crafting, or learning a new recipe. Or getting a great workout in. And we need to let others around us know what they can do for us, even just a small gesture, to make us smile. But no, we just expect the other person to know what makes us happy and then get mad later because they are not fulfilling these things we never even speak about. For example.. if my husband said ” I really love to come home to a fresh plate of chocolate chip cookies.” You better believe the first thing I would do the next day is make chocolate chip cookies and set them in the counter for him! But if he only thinks this in his mind, and doesn’t express his feelings, I would never know that coming home to baked goods could make him so happy! It sounds silly, but if you replace the chocolate chip cookies with something small that makes you happy, doesn’t it make so much more sense? Like if I told my husband if he would just walk in the door with my favorite chocolate bar or that small significant item that I forgot to buy at the grocery store that it would just make my whole week..because somebody was thinking about you and doing something just for you, just trying to make you simply smile. These are the things we need to do for each other, you would be surprised how much a person’s mood can change when you do a small gesture to show them that they were in your thoughts that day.

On that note..Enjoy your Thursday! Try to do something small for somebody you love this week, it can do amazing things! And don’t forget to tell the ones you love the things that make you happy…communication can make a huge difference! We can’t expect everybody to know what’s going on inside our lovely heads now can we?? Our kids have NO problem demanding the things they need all day long so may we try to be more like them ha ha! xoxo

guilt ridden mom

Why oh why is that Moms and Wives feel guilty for doing anything for ourselves? Even taking too long to cook for my family I feel guilty that I had to ignore the kids long enough to make a decent meal! Working out after they go to bed, oh yes I feel guilty about that too. Because I should be downstairs folding laundry and cleaning up the kitchen from our dinner 2 hours prior, right!? No, WRONG! Why the guilt? I’m working out for me, for my health! Oh and watching that hour of my show is good for me too, because it is good for my mental health! I am so used to pleasing everybody else all day long that it feels strange and wrong to do something solely for me. I don’t spend a dime on my hair or getting my nails done/getting a massage/going out to lunch with friends. And I don’t mind all of that I would do it if I really wanted to..but for some reason being away from my kids just feels weird to me. They are growing up so fast and I really do want to soak up every minute! But am I missing out on other aspects of life? Will I regret later not doing date night with my husband once a week? Or going to drinks with friends and sucking it up and calling a babysitter? The days just go by so fast when you are a mom, every minute of your day is soaked up it feels like there really is no time for all of the things you want to do with your life. I’m not even sure what I would want to change if somebody asked me what else it is I needed. Even if I had a few more hours in the day I would still be needing more. Is everybody feel this way? Do we all feel like there is not enough time to fulfill all of our needs and passions in life, because we’re too busy doing the things that we need to do, have to do to keep our lives running on track. Food for thought..have a great weekend everybody!! I know we will.. we are celebrating my daughters 5th birthday!

Side note: this post sounds like a pity party, I really do love my life so much! Just need to work on having a more balanced routine. We all have things to work on, and sometimes writing it down reminds me how silly I sound and that I just need to relax. Calm down woman! haha xo

“Do Everything With a Good Heart and Expect Nothing in Return and You Will Never be Disappointed”

I saw this quote on Instragram today, and it made me think. People post a lot of quotes on Instragram to try to¬†express their feelings, or to try to get other people to think. This one made me think. I truly feel like everything I do in life is with good intentions. I do not do people favors and expect anything in return. I don’t do things for my husband so he can do something for me back. It is just out of love. My kids are first¬†and I do not have much time to be there for the people I used to, and the ones that know me and love me understand that.¬†I feel like doing things for people, whether it be favors, or giving somebody a gift, and then throwing it in their face later or claiming they did not get the same in return from that person, means you are not giving selflessly.

This is a hard thing to do in marriage especially. You expect so much from this person you vowed to share everything with. You are spending the rest of your days with this one person and you want them to give you everything¬† you have ever wanted in life. Well, this is not realistic. I admit I find myself doing the same thing. “My hubby didn’t do A for me today so why should I do B for him when he asks me?” Putting so many expectations on somebody is not healthy, and yes you will be disappointed in the end because this person did not know they had to meet all of these expectations of yours when they married you! We just want to be loved for who we are, and appreciated for the things we DO do, not for the things we are coming up short on. It is hard to do it all in one day, but it’s easy to pick out the things we didn’t do. You may walk into my house and see a sink full of dirty dishes. But my kids are clean, happy, fed. That dirty sink is full of dishes I used to cook my kids a home cooked meal. Something I strive to do every day for them. Being a mother has taught me selflessness. I give give give for them all day long and expect nothing in return. It just makes me feel good to see the smile on their faces from the love I give them, that is thanks enough.

My Dad is a great example of this. He has given so selflessly to me all his life. I have never expected these things from him, nor do I feel entitled to all of his help. He worked he arse off all his life so my mom and siblings could have a good life. And now in my adulthood, he still does everything he can to be there for me when I need him. There is no one like a girl’s Daddy. I am so blessed I found a man of my own¬†to be that for my daughters, because it has molded me into the woman I am today to have that.

I guess the moral of this is, give selflessly. If you are doing things maliciously or just to use as ammo later on..you are not doing it for the right reason. And don’t expect so many things from people, graciously accept what they give you. We are all just doing the best we can. Have a good weekend everyone ūüôā <3


Play Doh, I hate you I love you…

Ahhh Play Doh, all kids¬†love it¬†and most parents have a love/hate relationship with it. Why?? Because it is MESSY. It always ends up everywhere! Play-Doh crumbs¬†everywhere. And it never lasts long. The store bought play-doh is so sticky when brand new that it gets in my little nugget’s fingernails, and sticks to their clothes. I occasionally let my girls play with it because they do love it so much and it sparks their creativity. We also have a zillion play-doh toys so we can’t let those go to waste now can we! Today was a day that Play-Doh was necessary. We have been couped up in the house for over a week now, as we have turned into an epidemic. Runny noses here, goopy eyes there. Now I make my own play-doh. It doesn’t have the stickiness of store-bought..and I can toss it after we play with it (before it dries out and really gets everywhere). It is so low-cost to make I don’t feel bad tossing it. But it is supposed to last up to 6 months if you make it right. I found the recipe on…dundundun..wait for it..Pinterest! (shocker, I know) Here is the link to the play-doh recipe I use. http://theimaginationtree.com/2012/04/best-ever-no-cook-play-dough-recipe.html It kept them busy long enough for me to make homemade chicken lemon rice soup (see last post for recipe),and I stored half of¬†the play-doh¬†in a ziploc bag to use later.¬†It dries up quick so I toss¬†it as¬†we use it. It is my fault it dries, I always add extra flour at the end and probably shouldn’t, so if you do it exactly as the recipe says, you won’t have that problem. Maybe next time I will remember not to do that!¬†You can make it all the same color or even split it up in 4 or¬†5¬†different balls and give each their own color. If you have extra, this is an awesome gift to give to your kid’s teacher! Evalynn’s nursery teacher last year¬†was so excited to learn I made my own play-doh, and happily accepted the donation. Happy playing kiddos, and happy cleaning, Mommas. ūüėČ