Unmet Expectations

I read an article that one of my friends on Facebook shared last night. It said one of the biggest marriage killers was not lack of love, lack of sex, or anything related to that. It was simply unmet expectations. We go into many things in life like this, don’t we? You expect so many things and then they do not go even close to your way and you are left disappointed, or feeling like a failure or like somebody or something failed you. When in reality, nothing ever goes exactly as planned. Of course in my perfect world I would have the perfect marriage with perfectly behaved kids, and a perfectly clean house..right!? YEAH RIGHT! I know this is impossible, but I still get frustrated daily that I can’t keep up on my “chores” and I can’t get my kids to behave or eat one of the 15 options I gave them for dinner. And why didn’t my husband bring me home 10 pounds of chocolate, takeout, and 2 dozen roses!? HAHA! I’m kidding!! I would have a ton of unmet expectations daily if thats the crap I expected!

🤣 That brings me back to the original topic..unmet expectations in marriage. I try very hard not to focus on the unrealistic expectations I set in my head for my marriage..instead I wake up thankful I have this man I fell in love with so many years ago at such a young age..thankful we grew together and not apart in all of the trying times of growing into the adults we are today (god knows 20-30 are not the easiest years!) Do we vacation 3 times a year and have date night once a week..no. Do we get to eat dinner together every day and spend quality family time together daily no. But I go to bed next to someone I truly love and am thankful for any time I get with him. I have a beautiful home and 2 amazing, beautiful, super healthy children…and an amazing family/support system.

It is not an easy thing to let go of expectations. But why put that burden on that other person, to throw all of these you expect of them on their shoulders.. “you need to do X and Y in order to make me happy”. Is it our job to make another person happy? That is a tricky question. I believe if you truly love someone they make you happy just by being themselves..the person you fell in love with before life threw all of these responsibilities at us. Can you imagine at 20 years old caring if your significant other put the garbage out that night or washed their dishes or folded their laundry? NO! You just wanted to be with that person! Enjoy their company. You fell in love with their personality, their brains, their appearance, or whatever it was..you didn’t fall in love with their capability to do chores and pay bills and keep a house clean. While all of those things are important, they are not worth fighting about!!

So basically what I’m getting at..is basically to stop and smell the roses. Don’t dwell on the things you could not accomplish today or the fact that your husband left his dirty clothes on the floor or brought you home the wrong kind of milk. It is going to be okay! We cannot be perfect. Just know you are doing the best you can and if you feel you can do better..do it. I know I have so many things I need to work on as a mother, a wife, a friend. Tomorrow is another day. Have a wonderful rest of the week and remember to let go of your expectations of yourself and of the people around you and they may surprise you! Focusing on the positive things people give you rather than the things they are not doing for you can be freeing. Ciao xoxo <3

Sea Salt fail, and a little advertisement ranting

I got this oil in my Ipsy bag a couple months ago. It’s a Macadamia Oil Treatment. You can use it as a styling oil before you blow dry. But it gave me a recipe to make a sea salt spray with it. I figured hey why not give it a try. Does anybody else feel like they are just spraying water on their hair when they do this!? Like, I just went through all the trouble of blow drying and curling my hair, and now you want me to spray water on it? I wonder if this would work better on somebody with naturally curly hair. I was told to use one cup of warm water, 1 tablespoon sea salt and 1-2 teaspoons of the oil. I was so excited to make it and I am kind of sad that I wasn’t happy with the results. I left my hair feeling a little bit try to, I assume that was the sea salt. Maybe more of the oil would help counteract that and keep some moisture? Anyway, that was my experience with it! I would love to know if any of you you sea salt spray on your hair and if it is beneficial for you.


Another thing… I feel like all I see all over the internet is advertisements. I mean, I know we all have businesses to run and we are all trying to make it in this world. And hustling is part of that. But it is so hard to believe what is a good product and what is not in this world. And hustling is part of that. Even celebrities, all you see on their social media is unplugging this and that. Will we really do anything for a dollar? It is so hard to believe what is a good product and what is not because everybody is just advertising everything to death. So many hair vitamins, tanning products, skin products, makeup products. It is just hard to weed through all of it and figure out what are the good ones and what ones people are just trying to plug to make a quick dollar. There are so many MLM companies too..lipsense, R & F, essential oils, mascaras, lula roe, Amway, etc. People claiming that they are an entrepreneur when they sell this stuff. Being an entrepreneur means that you start your own business by creating your own product. Not by selling something somebody else created. I’m sure they are all great products and I do know people that sell each of those, so I’m definitely not dogging that. I just wonder how much of it is about the products and how much of it is about bragging about how much money you make selling your products so you can recruit people to do it with you. It just seems odd to me that people have to brag about how much money they are making selling a product. I definitely don’t like to talk about how much money I am bringing in, why do people selling these products feel the need to talk about that? I think this is just our generation. This is how people sell products now, especially stay-at-home moms who want to be able to work at home. I totally get it, I just can’t get myself to get into that world. The moral of this rant is I just don’t know what to spend my money on anymore, of course we all want great products I just want to make sure I am buying the right ones and putting my money into the right businesses. I wish everybody I know success! Whatever it is they choose to do. Ciao lovelies!

Sugar and Spice

So I am not your usual blogger..I am not trying to portray any kind of image, and I am also pretty painfully honest most of the time. I think seeming to put-together is….boring. So time to be bluntly honest. This whole blogging thing is a bit confusing for me. I see people’s Instagram pages and they mostly portray one type of image. It is either strictly about fitness, cooking, fashion, you fill in the blank. And I just don’t feel there is one thing that defines me, so I look at my Instagram compared to others and it does look a bit scatterbrained. But maybe that’s what I am! And what’s wrong with portraying what I really am, right? Maybe everybody is a little bit all over the place when they first start blogging and eventually I will figure out the things I am most passionate about and talk more about those rather than be all over the place. As for now though..one day all I want to do is talk about my favorite workout, and the next day I may want to blab about fashion! I like reaching a broad spectrum of people. I have always loved talking to all kinds of people. I am very open to all kinds of personalities . And that is what made me a great hair stylist , I feel like I can get on anybody’s level and feel their energy and what they are talking about and really connect with them. Hash-tagging my pictures on Instagram has really helped me reach other people that are interested in the same things as me! I love seeing other people’s craft pages, fashion pages, cooking pages, etc. I feel so inspired by other people. But it also makes me sad because I feel like I’m running out of time everyday to fulfill any of my passions.
I have definitely learned after being a mom for 5 years that you have to squeeze in things that you care about. I had to work out twice today to get one full workout in. But I finished it..and that felt good! It’s important to do these things for yourself! As I have said before, the eating super clean is a struggle for me because I just like to eat what I want when I want. I am sure I will find a way to adjust that as time goes by. There are so many things to work on. I have learned that whether I eat perfect or not it is still important for me to get my exercise in and that even took me a very long time to learn! I used to eat one bad meal and think what what is the point of working out. But my toning exercises do still seem to be working without counting calories or macros. So I’m definitely not one to follow when it comes to fitness! But I do have some great short workouts for people that have kids and are very busy. And they are all by Fitnessblender. I already posted a fitness post with most of my favorites so I won’t link to those again. But I will say my trusty favorites that I do multiple times a week are “Get Madonna arms with this 10-minute workout” by popsugarliving on YouTube. And I love the lower body pilates workouts by FitnessBlender, and also their 5,8, and 10 minute ab workouts. They have some great quick arm workouts with light weights that are great as well.

I just kind of went in circles (per usual aghh!!) but I guess the point of this was to say that it’s okay to be a little bit all over the place sometimes! When I first started this I thought I was going to just make a Blog about fashion, hair, and makeup. But that is not all of me. And it is just not me to hide any version of myself. I want to be able to talk about whatever is inspiring me at that moment. And I think I’m going to do that more often in the future here.

Be unapologetically YOU. Good night 🙂

What our kids teach us

Every day I think of how I can teach my kids new things, and make them the best people they can be..spark their creativity. But truthfully, everything I’m trying to do for them they so effortlessly do for me. Isn’t it true? I know kids don’t seem to have a worry in the world, but we should learn from them the ability to appreciate the small things. (Even though we clearly have more to worry about than they do.)

When we got home from school pick up yesterday, my daughter came home with a homemade kite. She was so excited to go home and fly this thing. So what did I do when we got home? I made one for her little sister too (of course) and we just ate lunch outside and flew kites for a bit. All it took was cutting the front of a coloring book into a diamond, poking the hole on the bottom and stringing some yarn through it. They were so happy, and I just sat there watching my little girls run around thinking how blessed I am. I try to appreciate these little things too. Why as adults is it so much harder to make us happy? We only appreciate grand gestures. I feel like the little things still make me smile. A kiss on the cheek from my husband, a hug from my child. A sweet text from my parents. Those kind of things make my entire day! All I have to do to make my kids day is say something like “hey let’s make homemade play- doh!” And they go “yayyyy..yeah!!! play-doh!!” And the next 2 hours is consisted of fun playing in the kitchen and eating snacks and just enjoying each other’s company. They have made it clear they love play-doh in the past so I know this makes them happy.

This is something we also don’t seem to do as adults…. fulfill those little things that make us happy. Do things for YOURSELF that make you happy! For me it is taking that extra hour to do my crafting, or learning a new recipe. Or getting a great workout in. And we need to let others around us know what they can do for us, even just a small gesture, to make us smile. But no, we just expect the other person to know what makes us happy and then get mad later because they are not fulfilling these things we never even speak about. For example.. if my husband said ” I really love to come home to a fresh plate of chocolate chip cookies.” You better believe the first thing I would do the next day is make chocolate chip cookies and set them in the counter for him! But if he only thinks this in his mind, and doesn’t express his feelings, I would never know that coming home to baked goods could make him so happy! It sounds silly, but if you replace the chocolate chip cookies with something small that makes you happy, doesn’t it make so much more sense? Like if I told my husband if he would just walk in the door with my favorite chocolate bar or that small significant item that I forgot to buy at the grocery store that it would just make my whole week..because somebody was thinking about you and doing something just for you, just trying to make you simply smile. These are the things we need to do for each other, you would be surprised how much a person’s mood can change when you do a small gesture to show them that they were in your thoughts that day.

On that note..Enjoy your Thursday! Try to do something small for somebody you love this week, it can do amazing things! And don’t forget to tell the ones you love the things that make you happy…communication can make a huge difference! We can’t expect everybody to know what’s going on inside our lovely heads now can we?? Our kids have NO problem demanding the things they need all day long so may we try to be more like them ha ha! xoxo

a reality TV fueled ramble

I’m watching this show called Summer House on Bravo. And these people go to this house for the summer just to party and have fun. And obviously there is lots of hooking up. So this got me thinking, why hook up with randoms just for one night? Somebody you don’t have any real feelings for, and may never hang out with again, you spend the night with them. Is this because we all have this yearning to be wanted by somebody, anybody? So you hook up for that one night so you feel like somebody finds you attractive, or are they just a bunch of hornbills trying to fulfill a need? Same thing with people who cheat and go have a one-night stand and betray the person they are with. Everybody is just looking for that connection with somebody, they all just want to feel like they are special and yearned after. I do think (well I know) women and men are wired differently. Men hook up with random women because they are just fulfilling an urge. Women give in to these random hook-ups because this particular man made them feel special, attractive, one-of-a-kind. I wonder if I am the only one who sees it this way!? Men know if they make this woman feel super special she will give it up. Or are women just as bad as men!? There is no one answer to this I know. Everyone is different and I have always been accepting to all people.

I also watched The Bachelor tonight. (yes I watched a lot of TV tonight while crocheting haha…got the girls to bed early and had a private party with TV and yarn wahoo!) Anyway..these girls voluntarily go on a show and compete against a bunch of other women for a man’s heart! This show is actually socially acceptable and we watch it and root for our favorite woman. It is just so wrong!!! This is not how real life is!! I do believe some of the people on the show actually want to find the one..but that is not how you are supposed to find it. Tinder and other match sites…everyone is just raking through people until they find the perfect one. No wonder women lack confidence, we are always being compared to the next woman. Women do the same thing though.. what can this guy offer me compared to that one. I am 31 years old and who knows what I would be like if I was single and looking..I may be on the prowl too and obsessing over who can be the perfect match for me..letting guys on dating sites take me out and convince me I am the special one when they’ve done that to 5 other women that week. The Bachelor taught us this is ok..date multiple people until you are claimed..until you find the one.

I met my husband at 18..and I can honestly say whenever we were dating that I never once compared other men to him all the time..wondering if there could be better out there for me..someone who could offer me more. I would have lived in an apartment with him forever if that’s all we had. What always mattered is that he made me feel special and loved…appreciated. THAT is what is important!! Everything else is disposable..money, cars, nice things. It never mattered to me. Luckily we got out of that apartment and are living a beautiful life..but I never considered what kind of life he could give me when choosing him. He SEES me when he looks at me. He accepts all of me. That is what we want and look for in a mate. It is human nature. I have never met someone that said “no, I don’t want love.” We even do crazy things to find this connection..like go on a show with a crap ton of other women to compete for it!

That is the beauty of young love…we just want that passion, the kind only true love can bring. I do not blame single people 30+ for obsessing over the things I was too young to worry about though. We feel we should be somewhat established and financially secure at this age..and want our partner to be too. Especially because some people have had failed relationships or have kids from previous relationships to worry about as well, not just themselves. I just hope everyone can find true pure love like I have. A relationship based on love not THINGS is one that will last a lifetime.

I am not sure where this rant went, BUT!! I do know one thing…we are all fueled by this burning need inside of to be loved and accepted as who we are. It fuels our thoughts and actions. This is why I decided to start blogging. I love me and my life and I am not hiding who I am… I love to share it with people. I am an open book and feel I can help people just by being who I am. Maybe I can say or post something to inspire someone to try a new thing…or just be themselves and not apologize!!! xo